There is no single number, but most learners pass the Dutch practical driving exam within 2 to 4 attempts. However, many people need more than that, and it is very common to fail 3 or more times before succeeding. Your experience is not unusual, and the emotional difficulty is a widely shared part of the process in the Netherlands.
The Dutch driving exam is known for being strict and thorough, especially for adults learning later in life. Unlike many countries, the test focuses heavily on hazard perception, smooth driving, and independent decision-making, not just basic control. Many highly educated and experienced professionals struggle because the exam demands a different kind of performance under pressure. The failure rate for the first attempt is around 40-50%, and second attempts are not much easier. The key reasons people fail multiple times include: nervousness (which the examiner can detect), hesitation at complex junctions, incorrect use of mirrors, and failing to anticipate other road users. The test is also designed to be unpredictable; examiners will change routes or add unexpected tasks to see how you adapt.
If you have failed three times, you are in a normal but challenging spot. The most helpful next steps are: (1) Ask your instructor for a detailed debrief on exactly what went wrong each time. (2) Consider switching instructors if you feel your current one is not addressing your specific weak points. Some instructors specialize in exam preparation for nervous drivers. (3) Practice in the area where the exam is held, as local knowledge of tricky intersections helps. (4) Work on managing test anxiety: take a few mock exams with a different instructor, practice deep breathing, and remind yourself that failing is not a reflection of your intelligence or ability to drive safely. Many people pass on their 4th, 5th, or even 6th attempt and go on to be excellent drivers. The emotional toll is real, but it is temporary. You are not alone in this experience.