Thank them for their concern, then explain that your goal is deeper connection, not just basic communication. Many people mean well when they say everyone speaks English, but they overlook the cultural immersion, respect, and personal growth that come with learning a local language. A simple reply: 'I know English is widely spoken, but I want to understand the culture on its own terms and build real relationships.'
First, acknowledge the truth in their point: in countries like the Netherlands, Sweden, or Finland, English proficiency is indeed very high. You can survive with English alone, especially in cities, tourist areas, and with younger generations. This is a practical reality, not a myth. But surviving is not the same as thriving. Learning the local language opens doors to deeper friendships, workplace inclusion, understanding humor and media, and navigating bureaucracy or healthcare with confidence. It also shows respect and effort, which locals genuinely appreciate.
When someone tells you it's pointless, you have several honest responses. You can say: 'I'm not learning just to get by; I want to feel at home and connect with people on a deeper level.' Or: 'Even if everyone speaks English, I miss out on jokes, news, and the feeling of belonging. Learning the language changes that.' You can also point out that relying on English can create an 'us and them' dynamic, while speaking the local language breaks down that barrier.
If you're learning Dutch specifically, know that while almost all Dutch people speak English, they will often switch to English when they hear your accent. This can be frustrating, but it's not a reason to stop. Politely ask them to continue in Dutch, or explain you're practicing. Many will appreciate your effort and help you.
For concrete next steps: set clear personal reasons for learning that go beyond utility. Write them down. When someone questions your choice, remind yourself of those reasons. Find a community of learners or expats who share your goal. Use language exchange apps or local meetups where you can practice without judgment. Remember that every bit of progress builds confidence, and over time, the naysayers' arguments will feel less relevant. Learning a language is a personal journey, and the benefits are real even if they aren't immediately obvious to others.