Yes, many people learn a language specifically to connect with their partner's family, and the frustration with tourist-focused apps is very common. The key is to shift from general language apps to resources that prioritize listening comprehension and family conversation scenarios, not travel phrases.
Instead of Duolingo, which is designed for broad, gamified vocabulary, you need tools that build listening stamina and cultural context. For German, try using comprehensible input resources like graded readers, YouTube channels with slow German conversations (e.g., "Easy German" or "Nicos Weg" from Deutsche Welle), and podcasts like "Slow German" or "News in Slow German." These focus on everyday topics you will actually hear at a family dinner, like cooking, holidays, or anecdotes. For speaking, look for language exchange partners on platforms like Tandem or HelloTalk, and specifically ask to practice family-related scenarios. You can also hire a tutor on iTalki or similar sites and tell them your goal is conversational fluency for family gatherings. They can roleplay common situations like being asked about your day, giving compliments, or understanding jokes.
The honest tradeoff is that this approach takes more active effort and less passive app time. You will not get streak rewards or shiny badges. But you will build real comprehension faster. A good next step is to spend 15 minutes daily on listening to a slow German podcast or video about a domestic topic (like cooking or holidays), then repeat key phrases aloud. Also, ask your partner to pre-record short messages from family members in German, so you can practice understanding their actual voices and speech patterns. Over time, you will absorb the rhythm and vocabulary that matters for connection, not for ordering a train ticket. Remember that progress feels slow at first, but every understood phrase at the dinner table is a genuine win.